Scribble love on chalkboards. Graffiti it on subway walls.

14 Replies

Day 12 – the one you hate the most/someone who caused you a lot of pain

Up until last month, I had no idea what To Write Love On Her Arms was. But now I know that it’s one of the most important awareness organizations out there. That love needs to be written across the world all over our souls and deep in our hearts. We need to scribble love on chalkboards, graffiti it on the walls in subway stations. I encourage you to etch love into the bathroom stall walls with your pen or paper clip until the words are too deep to be removed.

Dear (insert names here),

This letter is to anyone who ever laughed at me for being the person I am (and always will be). This is for the girls who sent me home, begging my parents not to make me go back to school the next day. For the girls who mocked me publicly on social networking sites and privately in notes to their friends during homeroom. A note isn’t private if your so-called best friend finds it and reads it to you.

For the girls who joked about wanting to punch me in the face. For the girls who ever joked about hurting someone else ever. This is for you to read.

I don’t want to hate anyone, and luckily there isn’t anyone in my life who I can honestly say I hate.

the dorkiest picture I could find of myself

There are quite a few people who have shaken me up and made me question who I am, and for that, I am sorry. I’m sorry I let you have that affect on me, because what I know now is that I want to be that girl you laughed at.

To all you girls who have been picked on and walked all over, I want you to remember that there’s nothing wrong with you. That your version of the world is no less important and wonderful than the person throwing you on the ground.

But for anyone who’s done these things, there’s something you need to understand. You are doing a terrible disservice in putting down someone else, but an even worse disservice to yourself. In forgetting that someone could just as easily do the same to you. And in forgetting how harmful those words, those empty threats, become when someone else, on the receiving end, takes them seriously. Because when they do, you have to live with the guilt of that. Knowing that your words may have been a factor.

Each time someone puts you down you question everything you thought you knew. Maybe it’s something little, like whether or not your skirt and shirt match that day. Or maybe it’s something big, something that leads those girls headed for bigger problems: Am I beautiful? Thin? Smart? Worthwhile?

Is my life important in the grand scheme of things?

These are the questions you force upon girls you barely know, simply by putting them down. And maybe they brush it off, bouncing back resiliently. Or maybe they don’t. Maybe those comments stack up and form a wall between them and everyone else. A wall that’s not so easy to take down. A wall that leads to bigger problems.

Maybe, if we focused less on cutting others down a rung on the ladder and instead shared our love with them, the world would be better.

Maybe I would be a completely different person. But then again, I can’t know for sure. I can’t know if I’d still feel this urge to share with the world, to set the bar high for respect. Somewhere deep inside me, your knocking me down gave me the extra push to stand back up and use my voice.

For that, in some twisted way, I thank you.

Love,
K

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14 thoughts on “Scribble love on chalkboards. Graffiti it on subway walls.”

  1. Tara

    Thank you for sharing this. I had a lot of trouble with being bullied as I was growing up, and I just got out of a three year relationship with someone who was essentially a bully… and sometimes I can’t help but feel so incredibly alone, and broken. I find encouragement in your words, and I really appreciate them.

  2. Emily Jane

    Oh, this might just be my favourite post of yours. Thank you so much for sharing this with the world today. People need to realise the lasting impact of their actions – words said to simply make fun of someone one day can work their way into their minds and souls, making them question whether they’re good enough for years and years. I know because I was one of the girls who was picked on, ten years ago, and only recently have I seen that I can use that to find my voice and be proud of the person I am – proud to be different.

    I want to share this post with absolutely everybody.

  3. Libs

    This post was so wonderfully written and heartfelt. Growing up and being made fun of a lot in middle school I can totally relate to the going home and never wanting to go back to school–and to the mockery on public websites–which I now understand is for people who have no courage. And I agree–I want to be the one laughed at because at least it means I am different—cause I never want to be the same. I want to be me.

    This was incredible. Thank you for sharing… Tonight I am going to write love into the cobblestones here in Rome and think of you.

  4. Kier

    As someone who endured and weathered 11 years of bullying, this strikes a real chord with me. Emily Jane turned me on to this post, and I’m glad I checked it out.

    Although it wasn’t permanent, I did something like this once… left it in a drawer inside one of the desks at the secondary school I attended (where the majority of it happened). Maybe the things I left in that short note were enough to purge the taint of the pain they caused me. Maybe not. I definitely felt better for it though.

    Thanks for this post, and I’ll be keeping an eye on this blog. One hell of a first impression!

  10. kaleighsomers Post author

    I’m glad Emily’s link made you check it out. She is probably the most loyal reader I have, without a doubt, besides my own mom haha. I’m glad I’m not the only one who has spoken up, and I hope someone else found it who needed to read it. Either way, it’s cathartic, right?

    Thanks for reading. I hope it’s worth your while.