Over the years, I have watched the push and pull of friendship. This is what I know and what I believe. In fifty years, it may be different.
MY FRIENDSHIP MANIFESTO
I believe in group text messages.
I believe in saying “best friend” and meaning it. In sitting in diners with a cold cup of hot tea for two hours.
I believe in answering the phone at two a.m. At four a.m. I believe in listening, no questions asked, to the voice on the other end of the line.
I believe in emergency meetups and gas money and thank you notes just because. I believe in virtual hugs and smiley face emoticons and email rants and Words With Friends games that go on just so you can stay close while far away.
I believe in sleepovers and Skype sessions and silly quizzes from beauty magazines. Inside jokes with origins long forgotten.
The feeling you get when you’ve missed this thing, this place, so bad that your heart aches when you return.
The split entrée. The designated driver. The one who agrees, reluctantly, to put the bumpers up at the bowling alley.
I believe in games from Target. Games in Target. Loud music and wet cheeks.
The feeling you get when someone knows what you need — even if you don’t.
I believe in reaching for the phone before it rings and more-than-obligatory congratulations and the communal sadness when It Doesn’t Work Out.
I believe in three a.m. meteor showers and spontaneous road trips to the beach and theoretical plots to egg houses in redemption.
I believe in writing their hearts onto these pages.
I believe there’s no designated time for friendship, no opportune moment for catastrophe.
If you are on the ground, hugging your knees, with no will to live, you call me for one reason. For ten thousand reasons. For a human voice on the other end of the line.
I believe in faith where there is none, in encouraging special talents, in nominating someone for what they deserve.
I believe in friendship that’s not half-baked but fresh out of the oven. Cookies saran wrapped and plated for the new neighbor.
I believe in giving generous servings of it, this little thing called friendship, hoping someone might return the favor.
Mostly, though, I believe in the kind that stays with you through all the awkward stages of growing up until you are ready — eager, even — to repay that favor.
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I believe in friends and lovers like you.
John
There are so many beautiful souls in the world, but you are one that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget.
I believe in all these things too. Friendship makes the world a better place. I think we all need to learn to be better friends and more loving. i am thankful for the friends who stick around over the years. those are treasures
Kaleigh, I wish I had something better, but all I can say is that you are, quite simply, and amazing person. The End.
Thanks, John. Even just a sprinkling of these things in our lives would be wonderful.
Oh man, Hannah. That’s quite a compliment. Thank you. So very glad we’ve found each other.
There is a learning curve to it, isn’t there? I’m learning that, and being forgiving in the process and hoping others forgive me to. Those friends you’re talking about, this post is for them. My own treasures.
All I can say, in return, is thank you. Thanks for reading, Nate.
As I said on your facebook – this is gold. Pure and lovely gold.
“I believe in friendship that’s not half-baked but fresh out of the oven. Cookies saran wrapped and plated for the new neighbor.” – So perfectly stated and gripping.
You’ve inspired me to make my own friendship manifesto.
You had quite a post today too, Olivia. Blaming that little sentence on my roommate, our resident baker who makes it hard to sleep at two a.m. with cookie smells coming through the vent in my bedroom. When you make yours, I would love to read it.
Kaleigh, you are not only the friend that I wish to be, you’re the friend I want to have. You are, quite simply, an angel.
Oh, Natasha. You’re so sweet. Thank you for being such a supportive and encouraging person, always.
I like those fully baked friendships, too. I also like games in Target and Wal-mart. It makes for excellent fun time.
You have written a very touching post!
Thanks, Rebecca! I don’t think you can ever be too old for some good ole Target games.
Of course not. They have the balls out where we can reach them for a reason.
I love Target games. The Target Games could make for a good comedy.
Trust me: it won’t be any different in fifty years.
Kaleigh, what a treasure this is! Such a privilege to read. Those girls are lucky to be your friend — and, I’m sure you’d say, you’re lucky to have them too!
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