Melissa Boles is a graduate student currently residing in North Carolina (though originally from the West Coast), studying to work with college students. She is the founder of the recently launched The Listening Project, and can be found on her blog and Twitter. Her favorite things in the world are well-written books, music that moves the soul and coffee dates.

Most days, I roll out of bed, traipse across the wood and linoleum, shuffle into the bathroom, look in the mirror, and laugh. My hair is a perpetual disaster when I wake. (I typically sleep with it in a ponytail, so nine times out of ten, I look like a Who when I wake up). And I periodically forget to take my makeup off before sleep, so sometimes there’s that cute line of mascara hanging out under my eyes. Most often, I think I’m beautiful, even as a Who.

There are some mornings, though, where I’ve woken on the wrong side of the bed, and no matter how adorable my Whoville hairdo is, all I see is my body type, and all I want to do for the rest of the day is to crawl back in bed and stay there. Nothing fits right, and for the rest of the day I notice how I walk, how I sit, and how my clothes fit me.

It’s exhausting.

When I was nine, my parents divorced, and I became an adult pretty quickly. Due to being unable to control just about anything, I turned to the only thing I could control – food. Anything with sugar in it that I could get my hands on was my new best friend, and my body began to change dramatically.

Food became my coping mechanism, and it’s something I still struggle with.

There was someone in my life who judged me for my weight. It became a point of contention for many years to come, and still is, and as someone who coped with food, when my self-esteem was lowered (however it happened), I continued to eat.

It comforted me when I felt like no one else could.

This person in my life suggested diets for me, offered to pay for me to join Weight Watchers – anything to get me to lose weight. I was mocked periodically at school (though not always for my weight), and felt alone a lot of the time. There didn’t seem to be anything that I could do right, and the only thing I knew how to do was eat, so I did.

Middle school, high school, early college…I struggled. I still struggle.

It took me a long time to learn that what other people thought of me – these things that other people judged me on – not only was it not any of their business, but it didn’t matter. The only person that mattered was me.

Several years ago, I started to try and make myself feel better by looking in the mirror and saying, “You are beautiful.”

It used to make me cry. The words would curl up in a ball inside my stomach and clench all day long.

I no longer cry when I tell myself that I’m beautiful. You should see my smile when the words come out of my mouth.

I’m still heavy. I still don’t eat very healthy foods all of the time, and I still periodically use food to cope. It is something I am working on.

What I have discovered, though, is that God designed me to be exactly who I am, and while I am working towards being healthier, I know I will never be the skinniest person in the room. I am okay with this.

In our country, in this world, it can be hard to love yourself when on the TV you watch commercials about diet pills and liposuction, or when you see these skinny, beautiful women in magazines and you don’t look anything like them.

Here’s what you need to know: I don’t care if you’re a size 2 or a size 26 – you are so beautiful.

I know it can be hard to remember that.

On days when I find myself feeling like I’m not beautiful, I do the things that make me feel beautiful. I do my makeup differently, I put perfume on; I wear my favorite earrings or my favorite necklace.

I am proud of my intellect, so if I need to feel more beautiful, I pick up a good book. Some days I’ll write a love letter or a blog post. I’ll reach out to someone else in need because it makes me feel good.

Even on the worst days, there is a possibility for joy.

Recently, I have developed a new mantra that seems to fit all my struggles, from my career to my body image. The above quote is from one of my favorite TV shows, Castle, and voiced by one of its main characters, Kate Beckett (Stana Katic).

I try to remember this when my Whoville hair and mascara-lined morning eyes aren’t enough to make me smile first thing in the morning.

Even on the worst days, there is a possibility for joy.

Always remember, my loves, that you are beautiful. I know it’s hard to think you’re beautiful, so know this: I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.

By the way, every month I send out a short + sweet newsletter brimming with cool finds related to the monthly theme. It'd be stellar if you subscribed. If it's not worthy, it doesn't go in the newsletter. That. Simple.